


We Ran (As If To Meet The Moon)

by OMGitsgreen



Series: The Tales and Dreams of Dragons [3]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGitsgreen/pseuds/OMGitsgreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The freedom he had gained had a dark side. Now that he wasn’t confined, now that he wasn’t imprisoned within the earth, he had to be even more vigilant than before that he didn’t choose wrong. And maybe, that was more terrifying then any confinement had ever been." Carrying on his journey from the place which he started, Shin-ah find that growing often means taking the more difficult of paths. The Sequel to If The Sky Could Dream (It Would Dream of Dragons)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slow Dawning

**Author's Note:**

> It’s here. The long awaited, much anticipated, first chapter of the If The Sky Could Dream (It Would Dream of Dragons) sequel. This is going to be much shorter then the original fanfiction was, but in honor of ITSCD’s great success of 2000 hits I thought continuing the story is a short sequel was a good way to celebrate. And it’s nice to stretch my limbs and get back down in this writing style. I believe this will only end up being about four chapters, so let’s have fun while we go! 
> 
> What topic I shall be covering, I leave up to the imagination for now. But I believe I left enough hints to give everyone an inkling.

“We ran as if to meet the moon  
That slowly dawned behind the trees,  
The barren boughs without the leaves,  
Without the birds, without the breeze.”

-From Robert Frost’s “Going for Water”

* * *

_In the forest just a little ways from the mountain that the village of Seiryuu dwelled, there was a lake. The lake was small and deep, so deep that the murky bottom remained a mystery to most of the children of the village. They dipped their toes into the cool water that lapped upon the muddy and rocky edge in the summer months, and wondered how many breaths it would take to get to what must’ve been the deepest point in the whole wide world. The lake’s reeds were tall and often stirred by gentle summer breezes, they huddled around like a flock of brown sparrows upon the jagged edge of a cliff. Their roots were haphazardly twined in the loose wet earth beneath, easily torn asunder by an unwitting movement. Sometimes, dragonflies with iridescent wings that fluttered and flickered midday light skimmed across the surface, sending ripples lapping little toes, and begging to be caught by an admirer. Other times mud-plated snapping turtles made their way from the waters, tired and true, to try to bite the fingers of troublesome boys who poked at them with sticks. And sometimes parents would make their way to the water’s edge in order to teach a child to catch a fish or two to fill the bellies of the hungry._

_Perhaps it had been the lake that Shin-ah and the others had stopped to drink and bathe by that day which had tickled Shin-ah’s memory, perhaps not. But many years previous to when he began on his adventures with those people who he came to think of as his precious friends and family, Shin-ah (who had been known as Seiryuu at that point) had made his way to that lake for a different reason then play. He had been tracking a rabbit, one whose meat he could use as dinner that night and whose plush downy fur he could use to line the inside of his boots with. Shin-ah had stumbled upon the deep lake as he did so in the process of hunting. He stopped his pursuit and stood there spellbound as he gazed upon the lake. He saw the thin ice filmed across its still waters, cracks like delicate brushes over its surface only rarely breaking the mirror like gloss. Shin-ah’s curiosity burned through him as he squatted down and reached out from the shore to touch it, brushing it with his fingers and only applying butterfly-weight as he did so. The ice was so cold, and his already chilled and stiff fingertips ached with the contact._

_And he looked curiously._

_Shin-ah had never seen his image so wholly before. His shadow had always told him some things. It had told him he had shoulders and arms and legs and hands and feet and a head upon his neck. But he seemed to be much smaller than he had thought, his composition slightly surprising to him. As he looked less like a dragon and more like a boy then he had expected. Behind his mask, his looks were a mystery. But he knew what boys were supposed to look like, and considering he seemed to almost be one he figured that was as good a reference as any. After all, in the village, he had watched all the children so closely. They laughed, played, and were forever cheerful. They flushed, and smiled, and had color, and light. Children looked like their mothers and fathers, Shin-ah knew, maybe they had an uncle’s ears or a Grandfather’s nose. They were stitched together, formed and transformed by love in a way that Shin-ah could only dream. Devoid of his worries and pain, children played through the seasons and beyond. And that brought small glimmers of lightness to his life, because their happiness was his. But he wondered, as he fingered the edge of his mask with his free hand. He nervously looked around and saw that no one was around for miles and miles, and maybe, maybe it would be fine just to see. Just for a moment, just so he could know. He couldn’t help it even as a cold sweat broke out and slicked the back of his neck and the fingers he pushed his mask to the side with were trembling and weak. Just for a moment, just for a moment—_

_His mask was pushed away from his face, and he looked._

_The creature staring back at him was hideous._

_He looked on in horror. Its cheeks looked as if flesh had been raked and rendered into eternally spilling rivulets of blood. It was so pale, lacking all warmth or color in its face and lips and instead taking on the hue of a drained corpse. Its hair was the blue of bruises or trembling lips in the cold. But it was those eyes, eyes that burned an unnatural shade right through him that turned his stomach. Those eyes could never belong to a human, eyes that tore people apart, eating them through to the core as maggots did. Disgusting horrifying monstrous eyes that he hated._

_Suddenly he looked up._

_He was sitting in the mud again, winter rain washing him and burning his skin with the cold-fire of a merciless storm. Amongst the broken lifeless corpses that littered the plain he sat with his nerves ablaze. He had killed those men, killed them with those eyes, and eaten their organs from their bodies. Shin-ah had killed all of those people. He had laughed as he had slowly dug his claws into their skin and muscles and bones, carefully so carefully flaying open their chests with his eyes until everything had been laid open for him to devour. He tore them apart bit by bit until they were begging him for the sweet release of death. Its claws were digging into his flesh now, its laughter in his ear sounding of cavewall scratches and thundercrack echoes, tearing everything away from him and leaving him so Shin-ah could never feel warmth again— **Give me more, give me more! It’s no use to run from me after all for I am you and are I! Everything that that is within my field of vision belongs to me, give it to me, give me more! To live is to devour others, to live we must devour others so everything belongs to me** —_

* * *

Shin-ah jerked up from his blankets and fur with a start, his heart pounding in his throat and his body soaked with sweat. As he hugged himself with trembling hands, Ao scurried over startled from her own sleep in order to squeak and rub against his leg. Shin-ah reached over with halting fingertips to gently rub beneath Ao’s chin, feeling his own heart calm as he did so. His longtime companion looked up at him with no judgement. As much as Shin-ah wished he could spill his heart to her, Shin-ah knew that he had a hard time putting thought to word cadence at these sorts of moments, and just decided to leave his explanation at a sigh of discomfort.

How odd, Shin-ah couldn’t help but think as he readjusted his mask so it was placed correctly on his face. It had been a long time since he had one of those familiar dreams. They had slowly evaporated out of his consciousness like morning dew upon fresh spring leaves, lingered only fleetingly on his mind before completely disappearing as if into the midday heat with each coming day. His companions, their company, and their playful chatter had erased those demons from his usual thoughts. His companions had filled the air around him and his mind instead with sounds and laughter that resounded through him like birds in a canopy overhead or brass bells, rather than echoing regrets bounced against cold stone walls. And warm bodies snuggled next to his upon the ground where they had made their camp erased the creeping illness of those dark-night thoughts from the forefront of his ailing mind. He couldn’t help but think that maybe, perhaps, it was a warning. For what and the certain purpose behind the premonition Shin-ah could not know, for after all he had no talent of prophecy. All Shin-ah had was a feeling that creeped along the inside of his skin like skittering spiders and raised goosebumps along the ridge of his flesh. And Shin-ah knew from his life experiences that those feelings were best heeded— _Seiryuu you must learn to lessons you are taught or_ —

“…else…you will be hit like the fox…” Shin-ah whispered, more breath then voice escaping his lips like pitched hisses, agreeing with that voice of conscience that echoed in the recesses of his mind when he most needed them. If he was having bad feelings, most likely it was due to something brewing in the horizon, something unable to be seen by even his eyes. But even so, it would do him better to be on guard as that familiar voice echoed on his mind, bubbling up in the darkness to remind him of that which was most important.

_(Once upon a time, Seiryuu, there was a man who was tired and thirsty from traveling a long distance on foot. He stopped by a stream to quench his great thirst, dipping in his wooden bucket and drinking from it. However he found the water was sweeter than any water from any stream he had ever drank from before, and became consumed with a great greed. With reckless abandon he continued to drink until his stomach ached. After he had had enough, he raised his hands in front of the water and said, “I have had enough to drink. Stop flowing!”_

_The stream continued to flow, despite the traveler’s request. Losing his temper, the traveler yelled, “I told you to stop! Why don’t you listen?”_

_In order to stop himself from continuing to drink from that stream, the traveler stopped up the stream, and there for causing the land to dry. However, his thirst did not end, and when the traveler unleashed the stream to take another drink, it became a great tide and swallowed the traveler whole._

_That is how desire is, Seiryuu. Once we give in to it, we have no sense of moderation, and we lose the ability to control ourselves. When we give into our instincts we risk destroying ourselves. Never use that cursed power you possess Seiryuu, no, not even once. Or else you risk being drowned in it.)_

Suddenly feeling ill-at-ease, Shin-ah got up as he found his position next to his companions too cramped at that moment. With Ao following at his heels, he shuffled over until he found a tree at the edge of camp that he could peacefully lean against. He turned his attention to the forest gazing miles out in the directions before him to assure himself that no one was near that could be spawning such odd feelings within him. Well, to be specific, there was a village relatively nearby, but that certainly wouldn’t be the cause of his feelings. Finding no one, Shin-ah instead slumped on the rough bark and turned his attention skyward through the boughs.

The sky was bright as it always was to Shin-ah’s eyes, as to the eyes of the Seiryuu the world looks perpetually in a fond twilight. The moon was a silver crescent, its light hung in the air like fluttering moth wings by candlelight, floating effortlessly to illuminate all it softly landed upon. Stars and planets twinkled in vast incomprehensible numbers, their graceful dance timed by glimmers of unknown celestial objects that he only caught in the corner of his eyes. But that night his attention was caught upon the great ripple that streaked across the sky, like the hem of a royal dress skirt unfurling golds and purples and the darkest blue in a great arch. Shin-ah had often looked there, but even his eyes had to strain to peak within. Perhaps he thought, though his eyes could see everything in this world, that streak was the start to another heaven that even their Gods couldn’t know.

Even then, the ceiling of their world held no fear to him where it might have only confined him before. Instead that ceiling had only filled him with a great sense of wonder. Shin-ah had learned through Yona and her brightness and smiles, that there were truly no walls that could confine him anymore. As long as he was at her side and with his friends perhaps everything could be possible. That’s why, Shin-ah thought firmly, no matter what was to come he was certain he could get through it. But then again, just as suddenly, a new thought came to mind. One that Shin-ah didn’t believe was entirely welcome. If Shin-ah had such unlimited freedom, just because he could look there, didn’t mean he should. Perhaps anything was possible, but that certainly didn’t mean that all of those outcomes were good. The freedom he had gained had a dark side. Now that he wasn’t confined, now that he wasn’t imprisoned within the earth, he had to be even more vigilant than before that he didn’t choose wrong. And maybe, that was more terrifying then any confinement had ever been. 

And so with those thoughts circling in his head like birds of prey, he closed his eyes but found no peace or sleep.


	2. Barren Boughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The freedom he had gained had a dark side. Now that he wasn’t confined, now that he wasn’t imprisoned within the earth, he had to be even more vigilant than before that he didn’t choose wrong. And maybe, that was more terrifying then any confinement had ever been." Carrying on his journey from the place which he started, Shin-ah find that growing often means taking the more difficult of paths. The Sequel to If The Sky Could Dream (It Would Dream of Dragons)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the long awaited chapter two of the If The Sky Could Dream (It Would Dream of Dragons) sequel! Things are still looking like this story will be about four chapters, though it could go longer who knows, but in any case here it is! Let me know what you think! Your comments and kudos make me smile!

_One of those fair nights, far back in the past, his predecessor had told him a story before bed like he usually did. Those stories still clung to him, still filled his ears even though his mind’s eye failed him._

_“Once upon a time, Seiryuu, there was an old priest and a young priest who lived deep in the woods. The old priest was gifted and could hear the voices of the gods, and so as he meditated he came to know that his young disciple was to pass away in eight days. So the old priest told the young priest to go for eight days to visit his home, and without telling the boy of his fate the boy happily went to go visit his family.”_

_“After a long walk, the young monk stopped at the bank of the stream to drink some water as he was getting thirsty. Then he saw there was an ant cave in which countless ants were going into and out of it. He stayed to observe for a while with interest. When he was just about to leave, he realized the stream’s water was rising and would soon sweep away the ant hill. Quickly the young priest shed his robes and protected the ant hill, before continuing down to see his family.”_

_“When the young priest returned the old priest was in shock that he had avoided his fate, until the young priest told him the story of the little anthill by the stream. By saving the lives of countless ants, the young priest had lengthened his life. That is the way good deeds are, Seiryuu. Perhaps they are insignificant. But maybe, maybe they’ll matter in some way. Who knows.”_

_“So…what should…I do?” Seiryuu asked him quietly._

_“Be good. Whatever that means. I don’t know. Sometimes I can’t answer questions for you, brat.”_

* * *

The day was crisp and cool, but dry as days in the arid plains of the Fire Tribe tended to be. The village in the midmorning light was full of activity, but in a way that was completely different from both his home village and the city of Awa where they had gone afterwards. By both Hak and Yun’s direction, they had made an effort to steer clear of villages for the most part on their journey, but now having taken up the role of bandits they had gone into a village brazenly under Yona’s direction and idea of protecting the villagers and doing good by the people within the Fire Tribe.

But yes, that village was different from the ones he had experienced. Even as they came in, unlike his village buried in the caverns of a cave, or the city on the edge of the sea, the air wasn’t thick with dust and grief and worry that lay an invisible but wholly present oppressive weight upon its peoples’ shoulders. Even though the village was poor, neighbors spoke to each other kindly, walked from hut to hut leisurely as if enjoying the morning air for simply enjoyment’s sake, and did their chores with a sense of purpose and lightness. And it was beautiful, Shin-ah couldn’t help but think as he hung back from his comrades who spoke and went among the people to help them. There was the eye of a man glittering as it gazed upon a fellow fond face and brought out that day’s product, the children playing hopping-and-singing games which bubbled up from their lips and popped in the air with giggles of delight, the mother weighing out pale grains as she treasured them as if they were golden coins, the grandfather and grandmother sitting by the well with sunlight and stories worn into their skin, and all of them were so beautiful. 

Even if they had been scared at first at their presence (that of warriors and a possibly comical attempt to look like thieves), Shin-ah had watched as Yona had soothed them with her kindness and the villagers responded simply by leaving them be, and almost as if their presence had been a branch in a river, life began to move around them. It ebbed and flowed and returned to its natural course, and it swept their group up with it. Shin-ah was sure life would continue on as it had in this little corner of the world, no matter what blocks tried to stop it up.

But water didn’t retain memories well, Shin-ah couldn’t help but think. He wondered how long their presence might linger there, imprint itself in these lands? Shin-ah knew that Yun’s plans were well thought out, after all the boy was meticulous and that was an admirable quality. Yun knew so many things, he was so smart after all, and the things he spoke of were those that Shin-ah didn’t understand. If Yun said this would help the people, Shin-ah did believe him. But still he had doubts that skittered around his brain like spiders, weaving worries and troubles together to capture his thoughts and turn them sour. He could only hope that whatever actions they took managed to change the flow of the villages they tried to help permanently, rather than being a temporary detour in the path of the stream. 

“They are so thin,” Jaeha said to Kija who had nodded grimly, and thus breaking Shin-ah out of his revelry as he followed them to where Yona and Yun where seated. Thin? They had all seemed fine to him. Their hearts beat fine and they didn’t have any illness ravaging their chests. Their cheekbones cut against their faces, and skin stretched a bit tight, but a bad harvest would do so, and soon the seasons would turn and the harvest would be better. One could hope, though never know because nature’s whims were both fair and cruel. ( _He recalled then, suddenly, his first or second or third or fourth—those years right after his beloved disappeared ran together in a blur of time and space—rainy-season in the caves. With the farmlands gone, and fever clawing at them born from the damp and dankness, Shin-ah remembered in snatches of shadow-figures. A glimpse of the cloudy sky through the caves and the pain of his lip as his mouth filled with blood that could soothe the hunger that tore at him, he remembered the adults chasing rats into corners to make for meals, and children whittled away until they could have been blown away by storm-winds and their echoing cries. He remembered the eyes, the eyes judging him, their voices screaming at him, hands grabbing him and forcing him deeper and deeper into the caves, the monster that was being fed their precious food why must they give it to him when their children starved_ — **to live is to devour others** —!) And yet even in the worst of times his village had survived on, and Shin-ah was certain that this village would also survive on. Villages were much sturdier things then Jaeha most likely believed, Shin-ah thought.

“Yun, which village should we go to next?” Yona asked Yun as she reached out to pat Ao’s head and they approached within listening-distance.

“Let’s see,” Yun said, grasping his chin as he usually did when he was in thought and resting his knees on his legs. “At this time, officers are supposed to go to Shuu village too.”

“Is that far?” Hak asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, a little,” Yun conceded with a sigh. “What should we do? Officers might come to Katan Village again too.”

“Then I’ll go guard the Katan Village at once,” Jaeha offered with an easy smile.

“Oh, that would be a big help,” Yun said before looking to Yona who was currently cradling Ao in her hands. “Yona will wait here.”

“Huh?” She asked before standing up in obvious confusion. “Why? I’m going too—“

“The next place is far, we don’t know if officers will come,” Yun explained clearly and Shin-ah couldn’t help but shiver at the idea of Yona standing alone before officers (no he would rather have anything but that). “For our fighting force, the thunder beast and…right if Kija is there it’ll be fine.”

“Then Zeno will hold down the fort with Miss!” Zeno said cheerfully, only to be grabbed from behind by a very serious looking Kija.

“Don’t you just run around in the middle of battle? This time I will teach you the ways of fighting like one of the Four Dragons, come.”

“Eeeeeh?” Zeno whined, just as Kija turned around to face him. Though his expression was serious, Shin-ah could see glittering in the midwinter-sky of his eyes the trust and respect that Kija cultivated with every breath. What he was to say to Shin-ah was serious, Shin-ah knew so he leaned down close to take it in.

“Shin-ah, we’re entrusting the princess to you,” Kija told him, and Shin-ah nodded firmly in response. Protecting Yona was something Shin-ah would have done anyways, after all he was reluctant to leave her side unless she asked him too. She was a precious, important existence. And if Kija had asked him to do it, he took that even more to heart. Kija was as proud and diligent as all the good heroes in the stories woven by kind mothers on cold evenings, and Kija more than anything carried with him that epic pride to everything he did. If Kija was the one entrusting him with a task, Shin-ah would have been honor bound to complete it, for he knew if Kija could he would do so with vigor and heart.

He trusts me, something in Shin-ah sung. And Shin-ah was happy. Happy he could help, even though Yona’s disappointment nearly radiated into the air and tinging it like a dreary autumn drizzle. After all, Shin-ah couldn’t help much with the villagers like Yun could, or bring supplies like Jaeha, or direct people like Hak, or use his arm like Kija, or bring cheer like Zeno, or light and hope like Yona. But Shin-ah was very good at guarding and watching, after all he had guarded his village for many years. If it was a task like that, even Shin-ah could be useful.

As Yona sat down, and Shin-ah sat by her as their companions left, felt more at peace than ever before as he played with Ao upon his lap. Yona looked dejected, and Shin-ah wished that he knew what to say to help cheer her up, but the words didn’t come like Hak’s might, nor did an embrace like Zeno. Shin-ah wasn’t sure if those things could be comforting from him. He could give her his fur, but perhaps not. If it was warm out to him than it was certainly warm to her and she might not need it. But then again, if Yona needed something from him that he could help her with, Yona was sure to ask. And so he sat there with Ao in his lap and Yona by his side until her words washed over him.

“Can’t be helped,” Yona sighed like storm winds, conflicted and strong, her lips pursed as she leaned over her knees as if physically containing her feelings of disappointment. “It was out of my control.”

Suddenly he felt Yona lean, prickled at the sensation of her reached over his shoulders. Immediately Shin-ah jumped away his reaction totally instinctual as he tried to get his sword away from her grasp as quickly as he could.

“Please Shin-ah, lend me your sword!” Yona asked and he shook his head immediately remembering red dripping from pale skin, the blade of his sword digging into her skin and hurting her. No, he would do anything to keep her from that. Acknowledging his reluctance Yona’s expression of disappointment turned to a begging. “Fine…then let me watch you practice your swordsmanship.” 

Watch? Shin-ah couldn’t help but think in surprise. Well, he hadn’t practiced that day yet, and it would be good for him to do his exercises. If Yona would be happy with watching him, then Shin-ah would be glad to do so.

Shin-ah chose a spot just outside of the village, watching as Yona settled down before beginning. The movements were engrained in him after years of practice and use. He moved from form to form fluidly, the sword a natural extension of his self as he did so. His goal was to always bring down his enemies fast, so strike them down quickly and parry naturally and to leave no openings for the enemy to break through. A well-times dance between steps, with whistling sound of his sword and the beat of his steps to guide him—

“Shin-ah, why did you start learning the sword? You already have the power of the dragon eyes.” Yona asked him as he returned to his first form, her question breaking him out of his rhythm-induced trance with a twitch. Shin-ah let his sword arm fall to his side, while still keeping it close. He felt his lips turn down, as he looked off into the barren fields of the village, and at his obvious discomfort he heard Yona release a breath. Her lips turned up into a sad smile which made part of Shin-ah ache. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

_Watch me carefully, Seiryuu—no, no don’t hold it like that! You need to watch me carefully, you need to pay attention, do you understand? You have to watch me so you can learn as quickly as possible. Now come on, brat, one more time hold up that stick for me and I’ll show you again…_

“…the one…” Shin-ah said, his voice hitching but gaining strength as he spoke as flashes of memories bubbled up from the pool in his mind, it’s surface too close after the previous night’s dream had roused them, “…the one who taught me swordsmanship…told me to not use the power of my eyes.” 

“Why?” Yona asked and Shin-ah felt strange, no, no he was fine but he didn’t feel quite right. The things he didn’t like to think about were too close. Everything else was far away but he could see them and they were close.

“Because they are a…double edged sword,” Shin-ah answered, closing his eyes but the flashes were there and instead he found the ground much more comforting to look at. The trees’ naked branches reached for him and clawed down the sky until it was all much too close…

“…is it because they hurt you too?” Yona’s voice was far away as he stood there without an answer, his heart beat was loud, too loud, blood rushing in his head that sounded so much like rain and everything—everything—“What on earth kind of powers…are yours—

**Shin-ah**

_The ground wasn’t the arid sands of the fire tribe but cold rain pounded against his skin, mud filling up his boots no the branches—the hands of the fallen were reaching for him, raking through the mud to scrape at his skin, their moans and screams bubbling up from sludge filled throats of laughter—laughter—Stay away monster!—Please don’t kill me—_

_“Finally I can die!”_

_No! Shin-ah was begging as he was pulled down deeper, clawing at his mask to make it all stop—he was being buried deeper into the caves away from the light, and he couldn’t see anything in that darkness, there was nothing there, nothing there at all! Please don’t leave me, I’m here—_

“Shin-ah.”

Light suddenly broke through the frayed edged of his mind as Yona’s arms came around him, anchoring back into the present from where he had been drowning in the past. His mask touched her shoulder, his sword had fallen to the ground from his numb finger tips, and she gently touched his neck as he warm touch radiated through him and brought him back to his body. 

“Shin-ah,” Yona called again her hand moving from his neck to his face as he regained his strength and looked up to meet her gaze before she pressed their foreheads close, and he wore he could feel her warmth through his mask. “Sorry, Shin-ah. I won’t ask again.”

Suddenly the chill overtook him again as Yona’s hand reached for the edge of his mask. He turned quickly, pressing the mask to his face firmly as he did so.

“You can’t remove your mask?” Yona asked so gently, “Shin-ah, you don’t have to use your power. It’s just…I want to look you in the eyes when we talk.”

Shin-ah didn’t answer, as Yona continued to look into him. Shin-ah was sure that within that violet gaze she could gaze into places deep within him that Shin-ah wasn’t even sure that he knew. To her, Shin-ah was sure his heart lay open and as she smiled he felt warmed.

“It’ll be fine. Someday, let me see your smiling face, okay?” Yona told him before her lips curved up like the horizon at dawn, her radiance filling her cheeks and his world with color. “I’m sure it’ll be lovely!”

For a moment he breathed, his answer was on the tip of his tongue. He wanted—

“The Dark Dragon and the Happy Hungry Bunch—“ A boy announced as he jumped over, he was little and bundled up by a fond hand, hands and face smudged with play, “—‘s boss lady!”

“Wh-what’s up?” Yona asked her voice taking on a different tone, an attempt to appear unrefined. 

“Give me some candy,” The boy stated rather than asked expectantly.

“I don’t have anymore,” Yona said as she stood up. “Hold on! I’ll shoot down a bird for ya.”

Shin-ah sat on the ground, with only Ao by his side. It was odd, because he had grown accustom to all the activity. To Jaeha’s odd jokes, Hak’s remarks, Kija’s replies, Zeno’s cheers, Yun’s chiding, and Yona’s light laughter. Suddenly it was only the sounds of the village, his head felt very empty, as Ao hopped over to sit in front of him.

Let me see your smiling face, okay? Yona’s voice swirled and danced likes leaves caught in a breeze, he caught just a snatch before it flew away.

“She said…smiling face?” Shin-ah asked Ao who looked back at him with her deep full eyes, “What do I do?”

Ao’s mouth had raised edges, perhaps if he could copy her he might be able to get it. And though he tried to move his lips that way he found he couldn’t make it move. So instead he pressed his fingers to the side of his lips, and pulled them up manually, just as two more children came bounding over to grab the horns of his mask making his fingers slip.

“The Dark Dragon and the Happy Hungry Bunch!” One of the boys laughed.

“Bandits have appeared, let’s get rid of them!” The other boy said, before nearly skipping over to where his sword lay abandoned upon the ground, lifting it. “I got his sword!”

No! Shin-ah thought with a start as he began chasing after them. No, children with their love-stitched features, who played singing songs as they learned to weave, who fished in rivers they weren’t meant to fish in, who weaved lumpy crowns, and played through the seasons and beyond, swords weren’t meant to fall into their hands. Shin-ah was meant to protect them from swords which would hurt them, keep them from the blades made them bleed red like Yona’s palm had. But he reached out to take the sword, before freezing, every part of him screaming because he couldn’t touch them. If he touched them, if he took his sword back he would hurt them he would taint them—

He looked, coming to the knowledge suddenly he had been standing stock still, and just as quickly he realized the children were gone.


	3. Floating Pools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The freedom he had gained had a dark side. Now that he wasn’t confined, now that he wasn’t imprisoned within the earth, he had to be even more vigilant than before that he didn’t choose wrong. And maybe, that was more terrifying then any confinement had ever been." Carrying on his journey from the place which he started, Shin-ah find that growing often means taking the more difficult of paths. The Sequel to If The Sky Could Dream (It Would Dream of Dragons)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After being struck by the inspiration bug, I just had to get this chapter out of me! After this is one more chapter remaining (it might end up being two depending on how things shake out, but whatevs). But in any case, I hope everyone enjoys (or doesn’t because this also hurts). 
> 
> Achem. On with the action!

_Shin-ah_

Yona’s voice was carried through the wind, resonating in his blood like a song only he could hear. Shin-ah pivoted quickly from where he had been looking for the children, suddenly picking up on the panic which had overwhelmed the village in the scant time when Shin-ah hadn’t been watching. Shin-ah quickly began to move forward, his feet carrying him swiftly to the very familiar sight of men attacking men, and to turmoil in the streets.

Intruders—bandits, Shin-ah corrected himself quickly, as he swiftly weaved and avoided all the attempts to strike at him and knock him down. Shin-ah’s heart was racing, as the very familiar sensation of battle high over took him at that moment. It left him no room to doubt as he continued running forward into the fray. He felt far too light and vulnerable without his sword, but at that moment it didn’t matter. These were real bandits, men who lived to pillage and cause harm. Shin-ah needed to find Yona at that very instance, he needed to find Yona and to get her somewhere safe. Shin-ah could take care of these bandits later, or once the others returned and he found his sword, but as long as he could make sure Yona was safe—

Shin-ah turned the corner, and he found Yona.

One of the bandits had slung Yona over his shoulder as if she were nothing more than a few pounds of flesh to do with whatever he pleased. She hung limply, caged in his arms, her eyes closed and perhaps they wouldn’t ever open. Shin-ah knew that look. He knew the hungry, empty look in the bandits’ eyes.

_(Shin-ah. It means moonlight. Your name is Shin-ah. You took my hand and led me through the darkness. You are my moonlight. Do you like it?)_

The heat of his rage moved his arms, reached out to grab the first bandit within his read by the head and with all of his strength slam him into the ground. Someone behind him moved to strike but Shin-ah had already pivoted, his hand curled into a fist and his arm swinging so that it nearly whistled through the air as his punch connected to the gut of the next man who stumbled and slumped and wheezed.

“Yona…that person…” Shin-ah growled, baring his teeth at the bandits as his anger boiled behind his eyes and twisted his guts and tightened around his heart. “Give her back!”

“Your opponent’s unarmed. Kill him fast,” The leader told his men flippantly, tightening his grip on Yona. And he was right, Shin-ah knew as his men descended on him, and Shin-ah was spurred on by his rage. Shin-ah didn’t have his sword. If he had, then this would be easy, he would have killed all of these men who had dared to hurt Yona. But he had to fight no matter what. He would fight until his last breath had escaped his lips but they would need to kill him before he let them take Yona!

He was fighting with his fists, feeling teeth scrape against his knuckles, and noses snapping and breaking beneath his well-placed jabs. He kicked a bandit right beneath his chin, taking the opportunity to use the momentum to elbow another. But then suddenly just as he was rebalancing, a bandit kicked him in the back sending him jerking forward. The sudden jarring momentum caused Shin-ah lose his footing, and because of that it gave another bandit to strike him hard in the gut by a staff. All of the breath in his lungs was gone, his ribs ached but still he tried to lung forward—

The blade jabbed into his side quickly and twisted suddenly, churning his insides and leaving him to fall to the ground. 

_Yona. It hurts._ He called out to her, knowing there was no answer. He clenched his side which burned and ached so terribly. Shin-ah lay upon the ground, feeling his warm, sticky blood betraying him and seeping from between his clenched fingertips to wet the dirt. Shin-ah tried to press himself up, because he needed to keep fighting, he needed to save Yona, but he had no more strength to fight with. Shin-ah’s strength was spilling out of him with his blood and his breath. But even if he had no strength he had to fight on.

Suddenly a foot pressed down upon his back, forcing him down as a ragged yelp escaped Shin-ah’s throat.

“Damn bastard’s tough,” A bandit commented, as Shin-ah reached out to where Yona was. Shin-ah had to get to Yona! He had to return her to the place of sunlight where she belonged, not this place. He would bring her back. He would! Shin-ah had to, no matter what he had to give up, he thought as more kicks came to bruise and beat him until he danced on a very dangerous and dark edge. 

Her voice, Shin-ah could hear it as he lifted his very heavy head and reached out still. Yona was there, looking to him. Yona’s violet eyes filled with tears as she cried out words that Shin-ah could not discern the meaning to, but it didn’t matter. He had to keep fighting, he had to protect her, but he had nothing left but…but still…

_Yona…is calling,_ Shin-ah watched helplessly as she was carried away from him. _Yona is crying._

_Give Yona back…!_

**No one will be giving back our king, you will need to get her.**

* * *

The darkness had taken him once again, Shin-ah was sure. Shin-ah had just closed his eyes for a moment and yet at that time he was somewhere deep, somewhere cold. Shin-ah was drifting further and further down to a place where there was no sky, only the caverns of his depth. Caverns that still existed there with no end. Shin-ah wasn’t dead yet, that much he was sure of, but his body felt far away. And most importantly he wasn’t alone in the darkness. Something else, something sinister and dangerous, shifted and twitched and was alive there with him. 

“They took our king from us,” The other stated as if accusing him, sliding over rock, claws scratching at an ill-defined surface. “They will kill our king. Perhaps they will do worse. Our king will be crying, crying out for us, and yet we will have failed—“

“No! I won’t let them have her!” Shin-ah snapped back at the beast but even so his anger had no heat left, he was just so tired and weak as he pressed his hands over his eyes for a moment. “I’ll protect her, I’ll save Yona, no matter what I need to do! There has to be a way. Yona always told me that there is a way…I…I just need to find it.”

“You won’t be able to do it,” the beast chuckled, and Shin-ah removed his hands and in the darkness he couldn’t see but he knew it shifted closer, sometimes he swore he saw fangs glinting, other a smile that cracked and pulled its face almost in half. “Not alone. Come here to me, let me give you the power. Let me give you back the strength. Right now, you are nothing more than a defanged hound. Let me give you back your teeth.”

“My teeth?” Shin-ah asked confused, he felt so light, and so small. It was as if he had been whittled away into nothing, as if he was unmoored from his own self. Nothing made sense anymore. What did he have to do to make everything make sense again? It was circling him again and Shin-ah couldn’t keep up with its movements but its golden eyes burned into him and claws—no hands—no scales caught the low light. It was so big and swollen and starving and lurking there just out of reach and sight, like a face once seen in a dream. 

“You are I and I am you, we are one as two. You have kept me apart from you, but I have kept near. Now let us be together once more as we always have been and should be. Let us protect our king, let us fight, and we will be useful to our king and our king will praise us in return.”

“Our king…wants us to fight?” Shin-ah asked confused, so confused, and he wished to press his face into the floor—the cave floor? But hadn’t he left the caves? Yona had saved him, he was sure, but his memories were all wrong. Time was out of joint, shifting and changing just like the beast and telling him lies and truths at once. Somehow he had returned to that darkness. Why? Shin-ah thought as his eyes burned with tears, why could he never escape the darkness? “But Yona…Yona wants to help people. Yona doesn’t want us to kill people.”

“Our king wants us to fight for her,” the other told him simply, “and we fight for our king’s cause above all else. We must fight humans to do so, don’t we? Our king will make many enemies, and we must kill them for her so that she is not stained with blood.”

Yona wanted Shin-ah to fight for her. It was a truth, a truth that Shin-ah could cling to. Even as the beast made all of his truest truths lies, that had to be a truth. It made perfect sense, Shin-ah couldn’t help but think. Of course Yona wanted Shin-ah to fight for her, to protect her. Why else would she have taken him from his coffin (but he was still in his coffin forever—forever!)? It was of course because he could protect her. Yona wanted Shin-ah to protect him. That had to be it, but he couldn’t remember the words she had formed that day anymore as she had smiled at him and took his hand. But she had to have she wanted that, and if Yona did then he would…

“Yona…wants us to kill them for her?” Shin-ah asked the beast.

“Our king does!” The beast said happily, as if delighted by Shin-ah reaching the proper conclusion, and he was laughing, he was laughing, and the laugh tore at his ears and made him wish to curl up somewhere and disappear because he was sorry. Shin-ah was sorry he had lived and he wished that he could take it all back and say something, why hadn’t he said anything? Shin-ah had loved him, but he hadn’t made a sound as he…!“Our king wants them to suffer, our king wants us to kill them for her. Our king will praise us if we kill them. To protect our king was why we were born, to keep our king from harm is our purpose. If we do not protect our king, we will lose everything. Is that what you want?”

“No, but I’m so weak,” Shin-ah whispered, looking at his trembling hands. “I’m so weak…! If…if we can be strong together…if we can protect our king together…then—then I don’t care what happens to me. I don’t care! Please…please help me protect our king!”

**Then let us destroy the enemies of our king, let us fight until our last breath escapes our lips. Let us drown the world in our bloodlust, let us fulfill our eternal vow…our promise…**

_**Let’s protect King Hiryuu together! ******_

_(Got it, Seiryuu. Those eyes are cursed. If you use them, the curse will backfire on you._

_Never_

_Ever_

_Use_

_Them)_

“Stop…don’t…look…!”

The shadow, the beast at the moment overtook him, it overtook everything. He was struck by the wave, he screamed and yet it filled his throat and no sound escaped. It entered his lungs, chilled his blood, it burned him entirely with the cold heat of his rage and delight. It burst out from him, its claws—his claws tearing into all of the enemies, ripping them open with its teeth and reveled in the pain of those who had dared to hurt his king—

Ah, he thought as he stood up so light and so full.

It was…so beautiful.

The vivid way the red blood streaked across the ground, the sky—the sky was so deep, so blue and yet black, layers and layers peeling away and revealing the heavens to him. The stars were bursting, the constellations swimming in his vision and moving, and he yearned to reach and catch them with his teeth. He wanted nothing more than to pull down the heavens and completely drink it in and make it his. It was his. It was on the tip of his tongue, flitting and dancing over his numbed fingertips, and it felt so good, he thought as he swayed on his feet. The pain in his side hurt, throbbing and his spilling his life blood and painting his side, and yet when the throb of pain radiated up his side the world shifted and showed him new shades and gradations along a shimmering edge that belonged only to him. 

“Shin-ah, what’s going on? Shin-ah!”

_Yona was calling. Give Yona back._

_That’s right_ , Shin-ah tried to think, but his thoughts popped and fizzled and disappeared as quickly as he came and he couldn’t quite grasp them. That thought tugged at him with more urgency, carried more weight than the others, and settled there between the cracks. It was slightly bitter, perhaps sour, but he didn’t mind it. It was important, after all. Yona was important to him, and that was right. That was Yona. _Yona was in danger. I have to hurry and get her back._

_But…I can see. I can see. So clearly. Ah, it’s so pleasant._ Shin-ah thought as the rush gently eased that weighted thought where it wouldn’t bother him. Shin-ah lifted his head again to the sky, craning his neck and feeling his muscles pull and his heart thrumming in his bones and it all felt so delicious. The whole world was so bright, even the shadows shimmered and flickered and stretched so nicely as they cut across the swaths of light so starkly. There wasn’t any darkness. It was gone. The darkness was completely gone. Shin-ah had escaped the caves on his own, clawed his way out, and even though he bled and the world was spinning out he had finally left the caves. He was finally free! What had he been so afraid of in the first place? If it felt this good, why hadn’t he ever indulged himself before? If it felt this right, then certainly this was the way he had always been meant to be? _Being able to see, feels so good._

He shifted his gaze downward to the man. His arm was gone. Shin-ah had already devoured it and the thought was funny to him, even though he knew it was odd that eating people should be funny, and yet it was. His arm was his now, every part of this human was his to do with whatever he wished, and no human would ever put him back in the caves ever again. _The person in front of me is terrified_ , he thought delighted at the way the color drained from his face and his body stayed frozen, he looked smaller and smaller the longer he looked. He was less imposing and less scary by the moment. After all this human was nothing special. _I am overlooking everyone with these big, big dragon eyes._

Something began scratching behind his skull urgently, and he tried to remember despite how the memory felt so big that he couldn’t tell head from tails of it. Was this really the first time he had ever felt so free? He hadn’t always been in the caves had he? It didn’t matter—or rather it did matter. It mattered didn’t it? Shin-ah hadn’t spent his whole life in the caves had he? He hadn’t always been looking towards the sky, reaching towards the world above, listening to the water dripping…dripping…

Rain fell in that empty space where memories met reality—a cold rain—a rain that washed over him and made him raw and drowned him and buried him and opened up his chest and revealed all he wished to hide. But where did his dreams end and memories begin? Where did dreams and reality intersect? Where did they intertwine, crash, ebb, flow, become one and indistinguishable from each other? The dead were always there in the cave of Shin-ah’s mind, piling up before him as he ripped them apart, devoured them, anointed them with his rain, and kept on returning. If they were always there were they really dead? _And he wanted them to be dead!_ He wanted them to be dead and gone and to leave him be (but they never would), and would he be trapped in the darkness with them forever? How long did he have to walk in the land between life and death before he knew the answer?

_I…I also did this before._ He thought as that rain continued on and on, forever humming in his ears. _Those big, big adults looked smaller and smaller. What had I been protecting?_ Suddenly the rain faltered, it paused, and there was finally silence and in that silence there were strands of blue hair and a warm hand, and a large back Shin-ah craned up to see, up further—further—up to the sky. _What did I lose? Why wasn’t I allowed to use this power?_

_I want to see more…of this clear world—_

“Stay away, monster!”

His lungs burned, his idyllic moment torn away again by the rushing rain, but not rain, lifeblood. Sweat formed on his brow. Someone had taken from him again. Why couldn’t they see he had nothing left? He had nothing so why did they always harass him? Shin-ah hadn’t wanted much, he had just wanted to not be alone. _Shin-ah had just wanted to love them and be loved in return!_ He had tried so hard to make his little wish come true, but it hadn’t mattered as the humans had locked him away in the caves. Everything crumbled before him like dust, it all slipped from his grasp, so no more. Shin-ah wouldn’t let anyone take anything from him ever again. The sky was his, everything within his sight was his, and it was rightly his. They wouldn’t lock him away in the caves again, they wouldn’t take anything from him anymore. It was now his turn to take. His turn to take and to take and to take until the world had nothing left for him to take. Shin-ah would fill the emptiness inside him, because he was so hungry. Shin-ah had never been so starved before in his whole life—or perhaps he had always been this starved but had never wanted to admit it but now he was free and he could do whatever he pleased, and he knew exactly what would fulfill him. All he had to do was look. 

_The arm of the person in front of me is gone. They’re looking smaller and smaller._ Shin-ah knew as he gazed at this human and looked closer because he could, and peeling away layers of skin and muscle to reveal the human’s inner most nature. _Now it’s as if I can see through to his heart._

_Found it._

_It’s his heart._

_It’s so small and cute._

_**I wonder if it will break if I touch it?** _


	4. Meeting the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think I was ever going to be happy with this chapter, but goddamnit I tried my absolute best. And thus we end the sequel of ITSCD, with not a bang, but some HHB love, just like it was always meant to end. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

**_I found it._ **

_**Your small and cute heart.**_

**_Which one should I choose?_**

**_I want to see more…more…_**

**_Let me see…let me see…_**

“Stop it! Stay away you monster!” One of the humans gasped as he groveled and crawled in front of him, and he reached out with his teeth, plucked his leg from his body like a tender root from fertile soil, watching as red spilled out and painted the ground and the human’s desperate screams hummed in the air alive and full. Battle led him by the hand, warm and rough through the lands stained red with bloodshed and sunset, it egged him forward despite that terrible delicious pain in his side. Monster? What did this human know about monsters? This human knew nothing and it was so wonderfully quaint. But the human wouldn’t be ignorant for long. He would a good teacher just like the one would had taught him. He would be patient when he ground and carved his lessons into the human’s bones and skin, he would be kind and strict as he continued to teach this human with his eyes and teeth. 

**_Where are you going?_** He asked the silly human, his heart brimming—overflowing with malicious compassion because what a precious base creature it was. His king loved humans like this, he was sure. His King loved humans that could not be saved and would not love his King. His King loved those humans anyways. It was his duty to save the King from having to suffer. Because no matter how unworthy humans were of love, no matter how many times they rejected his King, his King would still suffer as they were killed. That is why he would take on that burden happily, he would do his duty well. He would kill all of the intruders, and then his King would smile.

 ** _You can’t escape from my eyes!_** He told the humans that tried to wriggle about the ground like worms brought up by spring rain, with their limp limbs and muffled cries. ** _Beyond the sharpness of a hawk’s eyes, even seeing the twinkling stars in a bright sky, my eyes can see through everything in this world! If I look at you, your body will lose function, and your heart will stop. Come on. Let me see more._**

 ** _Let me see it, you feeble humans!_** He commanded them, reaching out to take from them all that was entitled to him. **It’s been fourteen years since I have been released from the dragon’s eye! More! Show me more of this interesting world—!**

_Me? Who are you?_

“Who am I? I am you, we are one as two.”

“But…who am I? I don’t remember, I don’t remember anything anymore. I-It’s wrong. Everything is wrong,” He struggled against the current that was trying to pull him under. He clung to that sense of wrongness, that sacred foreboding that helped to give his thoughts form and shape so that he could think.

“If you don’t remember, then it was not necessary,” The other said, with a laugh that reverberated in his ears merrily and made him flinch. “Come now, let’s continue. We were having fun, weren’t we?”

“This isn’t fun,” He said, feeling helplessly sick to his stomach, drenched by rain, mud filling up his boots and completely numbing his skin. That place was empty and tinged with grey and cold that seeped into everything, into his skin, into his blood, into his deepest and most desperate parts of him. Those memories lingered there with him, trying to tug him back to that stream that he could not escape.

“Oh but it is. We love this,” it purred, its insidious affection pricking into his skin like ice cold rain droplets driven by wind.

“This…this is bad. I’m—I’m…my powers are a…” His words spun out and unraveled like thread. His head was pounding in tandem with the throbbing in his side, there was pins and needles in fingertips and toes. He couldn’t remember. How had he gotten there? Someone had hurt him but he could not remember why. He was hurting, but a part of him knew that if he tried to hold back the power which flooded through him that he might die. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die or be hurt by humans any longer, but more than that he didn’t want to hurt humans anymore. Why had he thought that he had wanted to hurt humans? He had never wanted to hurt them, he didn’t like painting the ground red with blood or listening to their screams. The person who wanted that wasn’t him. It wasn’t him! “They’re a double edged—“

His words died in his throat as a rush of wind flowed over him. He was standing in a space so wide he could not imagine an end. Swaths of pearly light painted the horizon as stars shown nestled in the sky so warm and dark and deep, grass as soft as silk brushing his ankles in gentle sweeps as the scent of the dew and fresh morning breeze swept through him. No, he thought with a single-minded revulsion that shook him to his core. No! No, not there. Anywhere but there.

“I’m sorry—“

“No!” He gasped, pressing his hands over his ears, tears threatening to spill over his cheeks as he bent over, refusing to look up and face this again. “…no more…don’t say anymore…please. Please…”

“I’m sorry that I’ll be leaving you alone.”

“Why…why here…?” He begged. “Why do I always…?”

“Where else did you think you would be?” The question was destructive in its innocence, it flayed him open to reveal everything he had most wanted to forget. 

“I just…I didn’t want to lose them,” he whispered, his legs unable to hold up his weight as he nearly crumpled in the grass.

“They had been lost to you since the beginning. If you had been more competent then it wouldn’t have come to this. You were told to never use your powers, and you obeyed regardless if such a thing was right or wrong. As such, for being obedient to a foolish wish, this is your punishment. There is no malice or ill-will in your treatment. There is always a price to pay for using your curse. That had always been made very clear, but in the end you really were too soft hearted.”

“You aren’t him,” He nearly sobbed, clawing his fingers into the earth, and keeping his head and eyes bowed down. “You aren’t him. Stop using his voice! Stop having his face! Stop it!” 

“Hush,” The other said softly, circling, circling, waiting to go in for the kill. “You are not a human, so stop acting as weak as one. You summoned me, because we need to save our King. You are nothing, and I am strong. Now let us return—“

“Leave me alone,” He said looking up only to see the beast staring back at him with glowing eyes, digging his fingers into the earth. “Who are you? You aren’t me. Why…why are you inside of me? I should be the only one inside of me, so who are you—?”

Suddenly something gushed out between his fingertips, slicking his hand in the thick, viscous substance. He looked down to find them covered with dark liquid, and stood up in a panic only to find himself sinking as if on unsteady ground that had given under a terrible weight. He yelped as suddenly he was knee deep in a sludge that made him gag. 

The caves, the dense darkness that he could not see through. The sound of water dripping, but not water, no, the smell made him choke on his own bile. The scent of flesh rotting in the dank mud, of coppery blood. He backed up desperately against the wall but to no avail, the liquid had already filled up to his ankles, cold slimy and slicking his skin as it rose and continued to fill his caverns. Almost as soon as the liquid, the blood, had touched him he understood. This creature only knew of one thing, desire. Desire came in many forms, but the other knew it most clearly as hunger, like water turned to ash on the lips or fruit forever dancing from its grasp. A deep ache, an endless longing, a void that was forever unfilled. Desire was its dear friend and constant companion, and he had kept it from its sole purpose, voided it of its meaning.

It could not be, as long as he kept from it what it was meant to do. And he, nameless and denier of his birthright could not be whole without giving in.

Ah, that’s what it had meant by one as two, he couldn’t help but think.

Claws, sharp slick with the sludge, rose from that soup of decay and anguish, and he cried as they dug into his skin. He no longer struggled as the wetness reached his belly, the claws grappled onto his shoulder as he finally reached, unable to breathe as the thick darkness filled his chest and lungs. But there was a glimmer of red there, a golden light that would forever save him. All of the punishment was worth it, he thought in those last moments. He had known love. In the end, Blue Dragon had been so merciful. He had been spun so fine that he had been easily unraveled, and he no longer hurt. At least it would escape here, he thought. If it could never escape from the caves and protect his king, and if the darkness was to be his final resting place, it was better for him to disappear without a trace. 

But he had known something else hadn’t he? He thought suddenly as the blood overtook his nose. That love had been different, a love given to him in spite of the Blue Dragon. So…what if he hadn’t been merely its cursed vessel? What if he hadn’t always been this way? What if he had left the caves before?

So if this was the Blue Dragon, he thought as he disappeared into darkness, than who am I?

 

 

“Shin-ah!” 

Who…?

In the darkness there was pinprick light. There was a gentle brush of his face which stirred him from the nothingness. But where there had been the endless darkness, like drifting in a sky without stars, there was a single little star. It was so far away, but it was beautiful, he thought as he looked in adoration. In the caves he had thought the stars had all left him behind, but one had come back for him. He had to reach it, he thought desperately.

He began to claw his way up, talons digging into rock wall, gritting rows of teeth, the taste of blood upon his tongue as he desperately reached higher and higher. As he reached the star grew brighter and brighter, until no longer was it a star, but instead the sun herself. The sun with hair as red as dawn, skin as pale as hot flame, eyes the color of soft twilight, and stardrop tears tracing shimmering rivulets down her cheeks. He wanted to speak, to touch, to do anything but it was no longer possible, there was only darkness and talons and hunger, he only wished, he had only wanted—

“—I am with you,” His king said, reaching out to touch his forehead without fear, the warmth of her touch radiating through the cold armored scales forged by blood and pain. “No matter what kind of creature you are, or who you hurt, ever since that day when I took you out from that cave, I’ve felt from my heart that we should live together. I wanted you to live freely, from the bottom of my heart.”

I…I…

“That’s why I won’t reject your powers. Your powers are a part of you,” His king said fiercely, her eyes bearing right into the deepest depth of darkness with no fear. “They’re evidence you exist. Kija and Jaeha are both living with their dragon powers, but you are different, right? What you are doing right now is absolutely what you didn’t want to do.”

But we did want this. He thought distantly. We wanted this, deep in our heart we wanted this. We wanted to protect you, always to protect you. That is worth every sacrifice that is worth staying in the dark. Just say so and I’ll stay here forever. Just say so and I’ll kill all of them for you. And I’ll stay here among the curses and the darkness, in the caves where only you can find me. If it’s for you I’ll do anything.

“Don’t drown in your powers.”

My king…?

“Just like you’ve protected me before, I will protect you—“

Light was suddenly burning everything away, in that moment he could feel the claws and teeth that had sunk into his flesh beginning to loosen their grip. He struggled against them, desperately reaching for the light—!

“If my voice is reaching you say something, Shin-ah, my person of moonlight!”

Shin-ah. That was his name. How could he have forgotten something so important…?

Finally Shin-ah grasped his name within him, feeling it burn through him like holding the sun itself. His blood heated and boiled over, the claws suddenly dissipated from his skin as if they had never existed at all. 

Shin-ah was suddenly dazzled by the light, the blue of the sky twinkling and glittering and unfurling before his endless view. He looking at Yona, her hands guiding his sight to her and she was so clear, and so close to him.

“Yo…na?” He asked softly, as Yona touched his shoulders. Suddenly Shin-ah realized was standing. He was standing as the sun warming the skin of the back of his neck, Yona’s fingers reaching to cup his face. It was all dazzlingly bright, the sun’s rays, the captured beams dancing in Yona’s eyes. There weren’t any caves. There was no darkness. There was only her. “Yona…”

“My voice…it finally reached,” Yona said as her expression softened and her smile widened in complete relief.

“I…I…”

Suddenly numbness crashed into him like wave against an eroded storm-battered shore, his arms and legs useless as if crushed by falling rock. He tumbled to the ground, his body suddenly revolting against his control as nearly unbearable pain radiated up his side.

“Shin-ah! Shin-ah, stay with me!” Yona begged, her panic wrenching his gut.

He was laying in a village where time and drought had worn itself on the bones of the people and structures. However not all was idyllic. Bodies were strewn upon the ground haphazardly, as if branches torn from their trees by a great wind. It had happened again, Shin-ah suddenly realized. He had used his powers again. The events that had occurred while he had been using them were oddly distant, as if seen through eyes not his own. But he had felt the rush, the pleasure, but for a moment he felt devoid of everything. He was simply exhausted. It had been inevitable, Shin-ah thought tiredly. He had been having so much fun that he had forgotten, and now it was all over but that was for the best.

“Yo…na…get away from me…I don’t know what I’ll do…” Shin-ah called to her desperately. “While my body is paralyzed…hurry! If you…look at my eyes, you become paralyzed…your arms, legs, heart…But if I use it…my paralyzing abilities back-fire…this is a curse backfiring…this is a one-sided power…you destroy your opponent…Because of this power…everyone in the village never once came near me.”

“Even though…someone told me to never use it…” Shin-ah’s bitterness caught in his throat on the unbreakable broken thing within him that was painful to swallow, his side still pulsed with a wrenching soreness which twisted his guts. A large back framed by the wide horizon flitted behind his eyelids. Ao, Shin-ah thought as tears flooded down his cheeks, hot and painful and flooding from deep within him where that broken thing could no longer stop them up, blurring his vision. I’m sorry Ao. “Don’t come near me. I’m a weak and ugly monster. I’m…”

_I’m scared of my own power, of Yona hating me._

_I’m scared no one will call my name anymore._

Suddenly he felt a warmth and pressure upon his numbed cheeks, as Yona’s pale and long fingers covered his eyes.

“The fact that you are upset that you can’t control your own powers is because you’re human Shin-ah. Everyone is like that,” Yona said confidently. “That’s why what you have to do is not close your eyes and repress everything, but to open your eyes and take control of your powers. I think someone who can do that is a strong person. I like people who can do that.”

She removed her fingers from his eyes, threading them in his hair and stroking it comfortingly.

“Let’s get stronger together, right Shin-ah?” Yona asked softly, tenderly.

“Together?” Shin-ah couldn’t help but whisper.

“Mmhmm!”

“From now on…?”

“Of course!”

“I can stay…?”

Shin-ah had no more words left to spill over his cheeks, that well had run dry while the wealth of his unshed tears finally spilled over. Shin-ah could have sobbed in relief, if his side hadn’t been hurting him so. But he was so content in that moment, as if a blanket of pure comfort had been draped over him as tears continued to quietly stream from his cheeks. 

_Even though I’m supposed to have no feeling in my hands, I can feel the warmth from Yona’s response. When I open my eyes I can see the claw mark of my powers is right there. Don’t look away from the unsavory feeling of pleasure is what Yona is saying._

_I’m still scared._

_But if…Yona keeps calling my name I will go anywhere until I can be proud of the moonlight name Yona gave me._

* * *

The sounds of the crackling fireplace and his companions’ soft conversation drew him up from his sleep like water from a well. His side ached and pulled against Yun’s expertly sewn stitches as he moved, and he winced and decided to stay laying down. Shin-ah had sewn his own stitches before, once when he slipped while traversing an icy crag and has impaled his hand with a sharp stone, the second time during a fight when a bandit had nicked his thigh deeply with a dagger. Perhaps it was the senjusou that Yun had applied, but unlike those times (with his hands shaking, blood painting his fingertips, unuttered screams tearing at his chest) it hadn’t been so bad. Yun really was amazing when Shin-ah thought about it with his calm and still fingers.

Shin-ah could have called out to them, but he didn’t find it necessary. It was listening to them that warmed him through. He heard a familiar squeak and saw Ao blink sleepily before trotting over and nestling next to his neck. Shin-ah reached to pet Ao’s who nearly chirped content. He was exhausted, and felt like he could sleep again for years without end, however he just wanted to absorb that moment, the flickering of warm oranges and red smoothing across the tent, the bright evening sky, Kija’s voice intertwining with Hak’s and Yun’s, Jaeha’s humming washing over him…he could almost see Zeno’s smile…hear Yona’s laugh…

He slipped back, back into sleep.

_(He was nestled against a larger body, his cheek pressed against a warm chest. A heartbeat lulled him with its strong beat, easing him deeper and deeper into the warmth of those arms. Shin-ah couldn’t help but feel himself smile at the hitching snores as he nuzzled in closer and soaked in the comfort of the afternoon nap. Thank you, Shin-ah wanted to tell him. Thank you. You’ve protected me for all of this time…thank you…thank you Ao…)_

And Shin-ah awoke feeling fingers brushing tears from his chin. Zeno smiled at him, softly and deeply.

“Did Seiryuu have a good sleep?” Zeno asked, his voice warm and melting like spring sun showers drizzling over his lips, and Shin-ah reached to fix his mask, but in no hurry as he nodded while his companions congregated around him.

“Ah! Shin-ah’s awake!” Kija called excitedly, his pale winter cheeks flushed and the bags of worry settled like dark winter valleys beneath his liquid sky eyes. “Thank goodness!”

“Don’t have an aneurism, White Snake,” Hak called from the side, Shin-ah looked to see him tending the fire and the breakfast that was simmering under it his eyes alight in good humor and a sarcastic grin cracked across his lips.

“There, there Kija. Don’t smother him,” Jaeha said good-naturedly, as he pinned up the tent opening to allow for Kija to get closer despite his words, a sense of relief hanging on to him like morning fog in the forest.

“Move, move, let me in I need to check on his stitches!” Yun chided them all, but allowing Yona to squeeze in beside him.

“Good morning, Shin-ah,” Yona told him with a smile.

“Good morning,” Shin-ah greeted, stilted but warmed all the way through.

And Shin-ah was happy. He really was.


End file.
